FAQs
FAQs
I think I might be gay
Knowing you’re gay is not something you can always work out straight away. Your sexual identity usually develops over time. Some Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual people say they ‘felt different’ at an early age. For others it can take much longer and you may not fully realise and understand your feelings until later in life.
Don’t be worried about this. Finding out about your feelings and what makes you ‘tick’ isn’t something you have to rush. Experimentation and exploration are often part of that. You may find these experiences pleasurable, troubling or a mix of the two.
Over time you will find that you are drawn mostly to men or women or both – and you’ll know then. If you’re feeling confused, you’re not alone. It’s not unusual to feel attracted to someone you are close to or admire like a close friend or a teacher.
For information and support:
www.lgbtyouth.org.uk – LGBT Youth Scotland, a national organisation supporting lesbian, Gay, bisexual and transgender young people
Am I ready for sex?
Only you can decide whether you’re ready to have sex, but it might help to consider a few things first.Legally, you can’t have sex until your 16. But it takes more than being the right legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too.Most young people are over 16 when they decide to have sex, but even then some say that they regret their first experience. Don’t let that happen to you.Some questions to think about whether you are ready:
Have you discussed having sex with your partner?
If you feel ready for sex, you should talk to your partner to see if they feel the same way. Being prepared also helps you to feel more relaxed so that you can enjoy it together. If you feel too embarrassed to talk to your partner about sex then you are probably not ready.
Are you having sex just because you’re worried your partner will break up with you if you don’t?
Sex can be a great experience. Don’t spoil it for yourself by being pressured in to doing something you don’t want to do. If you do not want to have sex, tell your partner.Or ask them to wait until you are ready.
Have you talked about keeping safe using contraception and condoms?
If you have talked to your partner about having sex, you should also have discussed protection against pregnancy and prevention of sexually transmitted infections.You should talk about these things and be prepared before you have sex. For example, if you or your partner decide to take the contraceptive pill you will need to see a doctor or nurse. And often you will need to take the pill for a few weeks before it starts to work. So give yourself time to get ready.Condoms are great because they prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, and you can get them and use them straight way.It is better, however, if you practice putting a condom on a few times first (you can do this together) so that it doesn’t interrupt things too much or feel awkward when you decide to have sex.If you feel too embarrassed to talk to your partner about contraception and condoms, maybe you are not ready.
Do you feel comfortable about the idea of being naked with your partner?
Being intimate with someone can be very special if you are both comfortable and relaxed. If you need to get drunk to have the confidence to do this, or you are very nervous or unsure you are probably not ready for sex just yet.
Have you talked about what you both want, and don’t want?
There is more to sex than just one position. There are lots of different things that people enjoy doing, and some things that people don’t enjoy at all. You should talk to your partner about what you both feel comfortable with. When you know someone really well and have been in a sexual relationship for a while, you may want to experiment and try different things later.
Remember that there are plenty of ways to be intimate with another person that might be more comfortable than having sex would be. Kissing, cuddling and touching each other can be just as exciting and fulfilling as sex. So enjoy your relationship, make the decisions that are right for you and hopefully you will have a wonderful experience with no regrets.It is important to talk to your partner about sexual health- but, of course, you can also talk to us.
Visit us at one of our sexual health services.
The lowdown - your guide to teenage health.
Scarleteen is an American based independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organisation and website. Founded in 1998, Scarleteen.com is visited by around three-quarters of a million diverse people each month worldwide, most between the ages of 15 and 25. It is the highest-ranked website for sex education and sexuality advice online and has held that rank through most of its tenure.
For more information and support in relation to sexual health issues, please contact or make an appointment with one of our local services